eternal wish: to stop all suffering

So our cats have fleas

I had to give them their flea medication which I hate doing and rarely do because I know it’s a pesticide and really harmful especially since a vet assistant told me it’s used once a month because “it can make them crazy”. So really, I avoid it but seeing RE’s burgered buns I had to do something. Should have looked up PETA first. I’m not going to rant today about animal cruelty, gunna save that for another day, but I wanted to link this website that looks pretty promising…

It’s backed by PETA and I couldn’t find much info on the company besides other websites offering their products but it’s funny because I read one of their ingredients…garlic.

I was telling Nathan the other day how it’s weird that we don’t have flea bites since they sleep with us….it got me thinking…I know that garlic is like this super food/herb because it practically fixes everything and I think I’m wrong but I’m going to throw it out there but I think I read an article on how people with certain aspects in their blood fend off mosquitoes better. I really don’t want to say that garlic was involved but I remember thinking that maybe it had also to do with garlic since I know it repels vampires and people. I usually double, or triple, the amount of garlic in the food I make so it makes sense that we don’t get bitten as much as our cats. But I’ve been wondering about the garlic aspect for awhile and then this company actually talked about how garlic is really helpful.

I’m not going to write about veganism right now even though I want to…I’m so angry and upset that I tend to not read these things because it’s horrifying. But people use these kinds of tactics all the time and sometimes it’s not as productive as it should be or is degrading to the memory of these people/animals but I still think it’s good to know what is happening. Anyway, I hope people with pets will look more into things because it seems that people only really care about injustices that concern humans or the environment…we’ve been leaving out non-humans for so long and it’s disappointing.

Rosie’s Remedies

I’ll try to put this site on my ‘links’ too.

the reason why i don’t need human babies

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Live long and prosper

Finished my first sock!

I’m so proud. Not as difficult as I had thought and really satisfying. I’ve ordered more yarn for my other sock pattern which should arrive friday AND my yarn from august is coming in on thursday! I doubt I’ll focus on the bigger project soon but I’m glad that I am actually getting the yarn. No news on Nathan’s Vegan shoes though

Anyway, I started the second sock and have yet to weave in the ends of my first sock. I kind of don’t like that I didn’t use a kitchener stitch for the toe but oh well. It’s a bit looser than I would like in the ankle area but oh well…at least the new sock book I have has taught me how to adjust size a bit more so I’ll have to keep that book as a reference in the future.

I really hate weaving in the ends of items. Just so annoying to do after having spent time knitting the item and then having to do extra work. But I’ll save that task till the next sock.

In other news, I have made my vegan goat cheese but haven’t gotten around to making my tarts but I hope to post those soon.

My mother told me of this new show called ‘V’ which is a remake of the older series back before I was born…I think. For my mother, the reference to Firefly goes further because the leader of the Visitors is actually the high-class escort/prostitute/cultural equal which we thought was so awesome. I hate shows like these because of the scary music and I had to make Nathan hold my hand and I muffled my mouth with my hair because I was afraid I’d scream if it turned out scary. I’m a total sucker for scary music.

Which made me question why we don’t have more happy alien shows/movies…I could only think of ALF and 3rd Rock from the Sun. Personally, I don’t like scary movies or scary/drama movies/shows because I’m a huge wiener. Seriously, Nathan can turn around and say ‘boo’ (which he has) and I’ll scream. I’m just emotional and I’m not saying that because I have two XX that I must be emotional…I’m sure if I had a X and a Y I’d still be a weenie…I’d like to blame my parents for not toughening me up but maybe it just has to do with my personality. I actually sort of screamed at the laundry mat last week because the manager talked to me while I was turned and didn’t see him. I think he felt really bad about it but I reassured him that I’m just that lame.

Maybe it has to do with my Disney upbringing. I would get scared on the Snow White ride…still kind of dread it. I don’t know…I’m just one of those people who likes everything to be rainbows and happy carebear stars. Not saying I don’t like gritty films or dramas, but scary stuff just doesn’t make sense….I’m such a weenie.

Currently reading Mansfield Park and Closing the Food Gap, but I tend to read fiction faster than non-fiction…I think I like the imagery and imagining what it would be like to live in those times. It makes me think about the social/cultural roles of the sexes and how much money plays into the lives of us all. But it also makes me think about how the more influential people are historically the more corrupt, sad, and wrong many of these people were. It almost seems that being poor (or not wealthy) is a way to a more peaceful life in terms of being manipulated and corrupted. But I suppose the trade-off is being more exposed to hunger, poverty, disease, being put on the front of war time hostilities, and so on. I think I like Jane Austen because she wrote so much about marriage, social mobility (or the lack/downfall of mobility), and moral/individual education of women that it makes me ponder why our society works the way it does in present day. Especially since she nor her sister never married and I really can’t wait to visit England since I think the British Museum (if i remember correctly) has the only painting of her and her sister. Of course, my personal history has no/little links to European society but as a post-colonial/oppressed/erased legacy I find her works really interesting.

Anyway, I won’t get into some random post about this since I feel like I’m talking out of my ass half the time. But I like to think that this blog is a space for me to think out my thoughts even if I question what I wrote the next day.

I’ll end this post now. Take care and Eat good food.

P.S.

My mother recently brought up how Gwen Stefani is totally into colonial exoticism which (not to brag hehe) I’ve noticed for some time. I remember the first CD that I actually bought (with a gift card but I picked it all the same) was a No Doubt CD. I can remember the place and time and thinking how great the band seemed on the radio and I used my card to buy it. But after so many years of watching her it’s both sad and fun because I must admit that I do like some of her songs…but this one I really hate because it just seems so exploitative but I’m sure some of her other ones are deeply offensive as well to certain people. I hate posting it since it seems like I’m promoting her while criticizing her but oh well.

I don’t want to go off but notice the Mexican foil candy, the Virgin de Guadalupe shirt torn in half to reveal her bikini top/breasts, her hair which is kind of latina, the nail salon scene, the fact that her Japanese girls are acting black/latina, the Pinatas, the Frida hair style, the entire outfit, god damn it’s so maddening. It goes beyond playing some part in a music video…at least to me…it seems wrong but whatever…just wanted to post it for reference.

Creamy

Time for some reflection.

It’s been a little over a year since I began this blog and a little longer since I began my journey into ‘domestic’ skills. I was looking back at my old posts and was seriously shocked at how bad some of my food was…not saying it’s super awesome now but I think I’ve come a long way. And sometimes I look at all the things I’m doing and I feel very much like a “Jack of all trades but master of none” because I love to explore but sometimes I don’t have the time, skill, or patience to hone some of these skills. I’d really like to make more pastries but we honestly don’t eat many sweets so we end up tossing a lot of it away. I’ve been trying to make smaller batches to prevent this but even still it’s likely that we won’t eat all of the pie, pastries, cupcakes, etc that I make. Maybe once I start making my mini tarts I’ll be able to make smaller batches.

But another problem that I run into is the vegan aspect. I’ve read so many random ways to sub for eggs or other agents but it’s really hit and miss depending on the item I make. I haven’t really found concrete sources that really help with subbing. Applesauce is good for more condensed items that don’t spread, flax is good for earthy foods, bananas can be hit or miss because sometimes it overpowers other flavors, the list goes on. I made some Persimmon cookies and I didn’t have any flax meal on hand because I keep forgetting to buy it. Didn’t have any bananas, applesauce was out of the question because of the spreading issue….so it left me with a few options…use cornstarch, a weird baking powder/oil mix that I use occasionally or leave out the egg altogether. But eggs are so great for baking that I really didn’t know what would happen if I left the egg out and I couldn’t find good vegan recipes so I used a Tb. of cornstarch…maybe 2…can’t remember. I also cut the recipe in half which meant only using one Persimmon for the pulp but I doubled it since it seemed a bit too dry (probably the lack of wetness since I used the cornstarch instead of a wet ingredient) and the other Persimmon was almost going bad so I figured it would just make it more Persimmony. I found the recipe on either recipezaar or allrecipes…but changed it to include more pulp and vanilla extract. I’ve never baked these before but they were really soft when they came out and I was worried that they’d be gummy and lacking consistency but they firmed up once I let them cool. Personally, I couldn’t taste the Persimmon but maybe it’s just subtle but Nathan said he could taste it. It seemed like a sweet Oatmeal cookie to me.

The batter was really orange but they came out more brown which was kind of disappointing. They’re super yummy and Nathan even stole one after they came out of the oven which seems promising since he never usually likes to eat sweets. Did I mention in my last post that I made some roasted pumpkin seeds. Mmmm…I remember making these as a kid with ‘Cajun’ spice but simply used olive oil, coarse sea salt, and some cayenne pepper. Omg, so good. I had so many I was super regular all week lol. I was planning on making potato-leek soup with my goat-cheese/tomato tarts tonight but I didn’t want to chance that it would suck so I’m going to wait a until sunday to make it. I did make my vegan cheese which I’ll have to post later. The recipe is on Veg. Times website and it’s ‘Pepper-Crusted Cashew Goat Cheese’…I ended up baking it for about 50 min instead of 35 since I forgot to turn it since I was knitting. It looks promising but I haven’t tried it yet to know if it’s good or not.

Anyway, this post is all over the place tonight. So many thoughts going through my mind. I bought some more dahlias and Nathan seemed to like the ones that looked black…not sure if they’re actually black dahlias but they look awesome.

Crappy pic I wanted to post them since I’m not sure if there will be more of them next week. Thinking about the kitchen…I feel really awesome because I replaced most of the cabinet door handles all by myself and it wasn’t easy. I don’t know who installed half the shit in this complex before we moved in but it was done so horribly I seriously think they did shit work and kept the rest of the money. One of the handles I have to replace wasn’t even screwed in…it was glued on. And one of our drawers has a cheap plastic runner so the wheel is now square…I want to replace it but they glued the runner instead of screwing it into the wood…so now I have to figure out how to get the glue off and then buy a new runner and install it…ya I’m so hardcore…no wonder my nails are always splitting with all the housework I do. I wish I lived in the 1950s and just cleaned and baked…haha But back to the cabinets…they look better than the cheap ass plastic handles that were so worn and falling apart but I really need to paint the wood since they used crap paint…they couldn’t even be bothered to take off the hinges before painting the wood…they seriously just painted over them…but I should quit complaining because we live a lot better than many people in the world so bitching about cabinets is sort of mundane.

I’m still knitting my sock which seems so slow but with all the cleaning, home improvements, and cooking I haven’t had much time this week. I decided to watch movies today instead of the radio which didn’t help me speed up my knitting but it was nice to take a break from listening to the radio. Watched ‘How to marry a millionaire’ and ‘The big sleep’. I really love Humphrey Bogart now and I just think our society is becoming so square in certain ways. I know that women have better opportunities now, in general and not taking into account race and socioeconomic status and all the other factors, so I know it’s not like many women/men in these movies are a good portrayal of how they lived. But The Big Sleep was so great and it makes me wonder why we’re pushing so hard to make 1st Wld. citizens live to be over a hundred. Sure, I’m a huge advocate of living healthy and ethically but I also don’t understand why certain activities are condemned for medical reasons. It’s like our society is mandating a ‘healthy religion’. Doing drugs, drinking, swearing, or not having a certain type of lifestyle is accused as being excessive, life-threatening, or wrong…and I’m not saying that people should do these things just for the hell of it but I think back to my history in Protestant Orange County and wonder why so many of my peers were so against exploring. I seriously am confused when Nathan tells me how he knew so many white Catholics (and Catholics in general) in St. Louis because I never knew any in Orange…only latino/as were Catholic. But anyway, I’m not advocating that we do a bunch of socially wrong activities but I think we need to loosen up a bit. Like the smoking ban in Santa Cruz….I personally hated when people smoked in diners or in airplanes but I don’t think we should police these things in such a way…both legally or culturally.

Why is it that we’re so focused on abortions, drug/alcohol consumption, and our work status when people are committing mass murder by exposing people to horrible working conditions that affect entire communities? Sweatshops exploit people, create worse shanty towns/environmental conditions, are usually abusive in regards to women, and create little or no job security for the workers. We have people like Bernie Madoff who fucks over people for money, other CEOs who can’t be bothered to take a coach class airplane seat instead of private planes, our government which has historically abused people, created coups, enacted embargoes for lame political reasons, and generally dicked over a lot of citizens by sending them off to wars that shouldn’t have been started and has taken away food support instead of trying to get communities out of poverty. And we, as a collective society, are concerned about if someone wants to smoke weed or a cigarette?

I mean, honestly, where are our priorities? It feels like we’re tying to make everyone live a long time so that we get max production out of people to feed taxes while keeping us ignorant to bigger issues. We don’t even have full health care which is just criminal…sometimes I feel like I’m becoming a Libertarian which I hope doesn’t happen haha. But honestly, I feel like the 1st Wld. needs a wake up…we should be more concerned about where our electronic parts are coming from in terms of raw materials than if someone wants a random smoke. We should be more concerned about the working conditions of outsourced industries that affect millions of people rather than if one woman decides she doesn’t want to carry a fetus for her own reasons.

And that is another thing, I got crap sex ed. To be honest, I’m grateful that I had friends in high school that talked about sex even if they weren’t practicing themselves…and I had a great Environmental Studies teacher who talked to me and my class partner about contraception when we asked her what our text book meant when they listed all sorts of contraception because we had no clue what anything other than a condom was. I read recently that abortions are on the decline in countries that have a wide variety of birth control which seems to me as a good sign…why does the U.S. feel that the best form of protection is not having sex. It’s unrealistic…I mean some venereal diseases have been around for centuries…sex is what makes life possible and genetics make things possible or impossible. We pump women full of hormones for their eggs or surrogacy and let couples pay thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of dollars to create children but if a woman doesn’t want to have a child then they might as well have sold their souls to the goddamn devil.  Seriously, people all over the world are living in horrible conditions, get no help with substantial political stability from their former colonial powers, are subjugated to slavery/trade/migration because the 1st Wld. is so xenophobic and apathetic.

This post is so all over the place, but I just don’t understand why the U.S. pushes certain agendas. Well, I suppose our society pushes them to make us forget about bigger issues…at least that is how it seems to me. And I write this because I feel if I type about it then maybe others might think more on these issues. It comes down to what does it mean to be political. I’ve done more marching and protesting than most people in my lifetime because of my parents. Just because I’m not ‘actively’ protesting doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything. We live in a very consumer driven society and I am always thinking about what I consume…mainly food because I do believe that ‘we are what we eat’. I’m blessed that I can eat so well. I might not be a professor or employed by an activist organization but that doesn’t mean I’m not doing my part. I think one of our biggest obligations as a world citizen is to read and think critically and then to talk or write about it. Also, not everyone can a ‘full-time’ activist because we need people to work in certain occupations to make our society function…we can’t all be full time activists because we need people to sell, market, clean, etc. It’s just a reality. But at the same time I think we ought to strive to encourage more people to think globally. Everything we do effects the world, especially in regards to 1st. Wld. citizens.

Anyway, the last thing I’ll bitch about, I think people with peanut allergies should all die…ok ok I don’t mean that. But I’m so tired of trying to find peanuts at my local markets because people have peanut allergies. First they take away my airplane peanuts and give me some horrid pretzels. Then they slowly take away peanuts from everywhere…and I mean everywhere! I finally got some peanuts at Wholefoods but then they took most of the varieties away and now there is the lone vacuum-packed bag that sits in a corner away from all the real nuts. Personally, I don’t understand why they didn’t just offer two types of snacks on airplanes and really…is it the peanut’s fault that people are allergic to it? I say no, leave the peanut alone…it’s a mofo’ing legume!

Vive le legume!

I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost

I can’t believe it’s Nov. already.

Where does time go? It seems like yesterday that I was in HS waiting to turn 18, then 21….and it felt so slow. Now I feel like the years go by so quickly but maybe I’m just getting nostalgic in my old age. Halloween was pretty uneventful which is a good thing since there are usually a handful of deaths each year. Celebrated our 4th anniversary since our commitment which was nice…I like to look up the wedding gifts for fun especially since the modern ones are so unromantic. This year was Appliances for the modern day. Appliances? ok sure, I actually did ask Nathan to get me the Le Creuset Skillet and we’re going to get him this awesome bag specially made for him so we weren’t planning on romantic…and ya so my gift would kind of be an appliance but really? Who thought up appliances as a wedding anniversary gift?

“Here you go honey, a new food processor to make me food!” or….wait…what kinds of manly appliances do guys use? Irons? Haha I usually iron….oh wait I got one…”Oh Nathan, here’s a Fry Daddy so you can make your deep-fried tofu”

I think the traditional one for this year was linen which is so much more abstract and imaginative than…appliances. Bah, stupid modern crap….I think they should come up with a post-modern list that would include: kindle, iphones, ipods, basically anything mac related, and something labeled as ‘green’ even if we don’t know for sure if it is actually sustainable, eco-friendly, or/and fair trade.

So we didn’t do much but we had a lot of fun thinking up a design for our pumpkin and doing our costumes. I’m proud that Nathan carved the pumpkin so well since I suck at it. He’s randomly more logical than me in certain areas and apparently pumpkin carving is one of them. We brainstormed what our pumpkin would look like and drew out some ideas. He set to work while I made the pizza since I wasn’t going to mess with our year long tradition of Pizza Saturdays. I seriously think the only time we’ve missed out on Pizza Saturdays is when on vacation which is pretty awesome if you ask me….which you didn’t.

We totally got compliments on our pumpkin but it sucks that our candles kept running out. Then I started freaking out because the candles we had were super old so I have no clue if they’re vegan since I’ve had them since before I became one. Now, of course, I’m looking into making vegan candles since it seems easy and relatively cheap and good for emergencies…especially since we have quite a few power outages up here. Anyway, I’ll post our pumpkin.

Can anyone guess who it’s modeled after? Or is it whom? I really need to look that up but I think ‘whom’ sounds really lame. Anyway, for those who didn’t guess it’s supposed to be Paul Stanley. So awesome…really the mouth totally makes it. It’s super tiny just like his mouth in most pictures. Nathan was really upset because we didn’t have all the fancy tools to make really crazy designs especially since he thought it was totally cheating. He kept bitching that it’s not fair to use all these random tools to get some great looking pumpkin and then also using patterns because it makes our pumpkin look not so creative but I reassured him that ours was way more original so screw the pumpkin tools. I think the compliments helped with his mood since our neighbors seemed to get the reference.

So since we usually love Halloween but don’t usually plan we felt pretty good with our face make-up. We didn’t actually dress up but just did KISS faces. I was Peter Criss and Nathan was Paul Stanley. We’re on a KISS theme this year…and I mean the entire year we’ve been loving them. I was kind of annoyed since the Cat Man had way more make up then the stupid Star Child. Took me twice as long. We had lots of fun listening to KISS and random bands while getting ready. Really, I think it’s one of the best Halloween ideas that I’ve/we’ve thought up.

We used pink ‘drum sticks’ for a lot of our pics which was really fun. Re was the drum for Nathan’s picture haha. Also, I wore my red boots which look way cooler than the picture I posted. Nathan calls them ‘Fuck me’ boots which I thought was too funny. I just thought they looked like quirky red boots.

I know that my make-up wasn’t totally original since I wanted to make it a bit more fem. since I looked really weird with the black make-up going to my forehead so I washed it off and just made them reach to my eyebrows. I also didn’t have any green eyeshadow so I used blue instead. And I have a ton of red-eye fotos of myself which is so irritating. I guess it has to do with certain pigments and random biological crap that I’m not going to write about since it’s easy to just Yahoo it…that’s right…not Google….Yahoo! I hate stupid google…::grumbles::

Unfortunately, I’ve pretty much decided to remove my lip ring since it’s so hard to find the right size and gauge. I’m really sad about it…but even when I found the right ring I ended up eating the balls so quickly that it was stupid and then it’s kind of hard kissing sometimes because it moves around or if the ball is missing it pokes me or Nathan. Maybe that is too much info, but I’m really sad about it. I need to find another place to pierce now…especially since I got that piercing as a bet against Nathan. It has so many great memories.

Have I mentioned I started composting? I’m so proud of that and it’s really fun to dump my food clippings but someone hid the shovel this week so no one has been able to turn over the compost lately. I also am waiting for our Sigg water bottles which should help cut down our plastic water bottle consumption. Um…let’s see what else…oh! I bought some small tart pans with removable bottoms so I can’t wait to make some vegan goat cheese-tomato tarts and maybe some vegan dessert tarts! so exciting….and I should be making some Persimmon  cookies this week.

The only thing left really is knitting now. Not to spoil Christmas but I’ve pretty much given up on making big items for my family this year for Christmas since I still am waiting on my big order of yarn. So, everyone who is family…I think I’m going to make socks since they are so awesome. I really hate Christmas since 1. Nathan and I are only children and really hate opening presents in front of people because it feels so weird and 2. I never know what to get people even if it’s Nathan and 3. it makes everyone go into ’shopping spree’ mode. Even Nathan…omg I’m still mad at him for buying me this huge computer screen since we originally agreed to only spend a certain amount on each other. He justified it by saying that I never get anything since I hate spending money on myself so he wanted me to have something really nice…haha so post-modern…instead of jewels he buys me a huge computer screen. We’re so weird. But anyway, Christmas is so hectic but I hope my knit gifts will be nice and awesome because the designs that I have are so beautiful.

My sock is coming a long nicely and almost done. I finished the decreases for the gusset and am working on the foot but I haven’t worked on it this weekend since it was our anniversary so I’m a bit behind. I can’t wait to finish these socks and try the patterns out of my new book. To be honest, I made a swatch (to check the gauge of the yarn/needles) and it was actually smaller than the pattern stated and it’s still a bit larger than my foot. It’s not super loose but I really like my socks to be tight fitting. One of the reasons why I like this new sock book is that she gives tips on how to make a sock fit better for each pattern and gives the standard size for the pattern which is nice since I generally have smaller feet than these patterns and Nathan has bigger feet than these patterns. Anyway, here is my progress.

So technically, my swatch was smaller than the pattern and yet the sock is still a bit bigger than I had expected. It might have to do with the yarn since I’m not using the silk/alt fiber that the author recommended but I can’t believe it’s as loose as it is. But I think most patterns are for ‘average’ sizes which probably means it’s meant for a size Woman 8 and I’m a 7 so that might make a difference. Damn, that picture makes my foot and calf look fat…Anyway, I ought to log since this post is so random. Take care and eat healthy food!

And if you don’t blast this clip and watch it…well…something is wrong with you